Cannes report: Sharon Stone washes her own dishes

Last night was just another day’s dressed-to-kill work for the game, reliably glam veteran amFAR global fundraising chairman and hostess of the annual Cinema Against AIDS gala held during the Cannes Film Festival. The ritual was old: Stone would auction off extraordinary tchotchkes ranging from a pimped-out Fiat 500 to an alto saxophone signed by Bill Clinton, and party guests would overbid for a good cause. The venue, on the other hand, was new: For the first time, the event (which, since 1993, has contributed to some $44 million in donations for AIDS research) was held at the imperial Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Antibes. Before dinner, six-foot-tall, eight-inch-wide young women in six-inch heels teetered down a thin outdoor carpet spread over ankle-wrecking gravel to sip Champagne in the soft May night. American pop celebs BJ Novak and Emile Hirsch walked blithely past international pop celebs Elodie Bouchez and Rinko Kikuchi. Paris Hilton barely walked at all, preferring to pose in place wearing a jeweled flapper headband.

Then guests trooped into a supersized bar mitzvah tent (with decor
"overseen" by Donatella Versace), and amFAR chairman Kenneth Cole
hissed into a microphone to shush the burbling crowd. Event
co-presenter Harvey Weinstein observed that "we’re all in a crazy
economy right now," reminisced about a good friend who likes to stay up
until 2 a.m. watching movies, then introduced that friend, former
President Bill Clinton. Mr. Clinton made a joke about how only the left
microphone was working at the podium, not the right, ha ha, and threw
in a Zen observation about how we cannot leave our grandchildren a
planet that’s not fit to live in. 50 Cent walked by Ivana Trump to get
to his table.

Then Miss Stone began her grand performance, a variety act of equal
parts blowsy patter and stern persuasion. "I was washin’ the dishes the
other night," she chit-chatted, hausfrau to hausfrau, "and I thought of
Harvey. And I thought of how Harvey is this unbelievably, astonishing
killer producer. And about how producing takes the right heart, the
right guts, and the right balls." Ravenous attendees, attempting to
slow their consumption of Domaines Ott blanc de blancs by
tearing into the dinner rolls that constituted the only foodstuff on
the table, paused mid-swallow to acknowledge the importance of heart,
guts, and balls.

Her stream-of-consciousness riff on a theme of scrubbing up ended
when Miss Stone switched gears and wept about the death of Natasha
Richardson, "an angel" who "accepted her destiny and her journey with
grace and ease." The tech crew rolled a tribute video saluting the late
actress as an "A-list humanitarian." Miss Stone pledged $50,000 to the
newly established Natasha Richardson Memorial Fund For the Cure, and
asked for others to stand up and pledge the same "to honor her
passing." When no one did, the stand-up fee was lowered to $25,000.
Finally, a stander relieved the suspense. To celebrate, attendees
signaled waiters for un peu more wine.

Then Annie Lennox, jazzy in platinum cropped hair and sparkly, short
blue dress, plunked down at a piano and sang "I must be talkin’ to an aynnn-jelll." Then Hostel director/Inglourious Basterds actor Eli Roth urged the black-tie crowd to bid high on auction items or he’d knock their f—-– heads off with a f—-– baseball bat like he f—-– does as the character known as "the f—-– Bear Jew" in Basterds. (Alas, this correspondent was too far away to observe Bill Clinton’s reaction to the can’t-refuse offer.)

Then plates with small morsels of lox were served. Then more
merchandise was auctioned off. Then this correspondent took a shuttle
bus back to Cannes, the better to ponder the contents of the official
Cinema Against AIDS 2009 giveaway totebag. Among the mementos are a
small cellophane packet containing a sample of lube and a condom, and
literature from the Uzbekistan Cultural Center. Value: Priceless.

More from the Cannes Film Festival:

Lisa Schwarzbaum on Heath Ledger’s final film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
More on Sharon’s Stone’s tribute to Natasha Richardson
Penelope Cruz in Almodovar’s Broken Embraces
Lars von Trier’s Antichrist: "The closest film to a scream"
Roger Ebert, A Prophet, and a trend that ought to end
Taking Woodstock = Peace and Love and Demitri Martin
Bright Star and the Scottish charms of Paul Schneider
At Cannes: Up, Tetro, and lots of balloons

Then guests trooped into a supersized bar mitzvah tent (with decor"overseen" by Donatella Versace), and amFAR chairman Kenneth Colehissed into a microphone to shush the burbling crowd. Eventco-presenter Harvey Weinstein observed that "we’re all in a crazyeconomy right now," reminisced about a good friend who likes to stay upuntil 2 a.m. watching movies, then introduced that friend, formerPresident Bill Clinton. Mr. Clinton made a joke about how only the leftmicrophone was working at the podium, not the right, ha ha, and threwin a Zen observation about how we cannot leave our grandchildren aplanet that’s not fit to live in. 50 Cent walked by Ivana Trump to getto his table.

Then Miss Stone began her grand performance, a variety act of equalparts blowsy patter and stern persuasion. "I was washin’ the dishes theother night," she chit-chatted, hausfrau to hausfrau, "and I thought ofHarvey. And I thought of how Harvey is this unbelievably, astonishingkiller producer. And about how producing takes the right heart, theright guts, and the right balls." Ravenous attendees, attempting toslow their consumption of Domaines Ott blanc de blancs bytearing into the dinner rolls that constituted the only foodstuff onthe table, paused mid-swallow to acknowledge the importance of heart,guts, and balls.

Her stream-of-consciousness riff on a theme of scrubbing up endedwhen Miss Stone switched gears and wept about the death of NatashaRichardson, "an angel" who "accepted her destiny and her journey withgrace and ease." The tech crew rolled a tribute video saluting the lateactress as an "A-list humanitarian." Miss Stone pledged $50,000 to thenewly established Natasha Richardson Memorial Fund For the Cure, andasked for others to stand up and pledge the same "to honor herpassing." When no one did, the stand-up fee was lowered to $25,000.Finally, a stander relieved the suspense. To celebrate, attendeessignaled waiters for un peu more wine.

Then Annie Lennox, jazzy in platinum cropped hair and sparkly, shortblue dress, plunked down at a piano and sang "I must be talkin’ to an aynnn-jelll." Then Hostel director/Inglourious Basterds actor Eli Roth urged the black-tie crowd to bid high on auction items or he’d knock their f—-– heads off with a f—-– baseball bat like he f—-– does as the character known as "the f—-– Bear Jew" in Basterds. (Alas, this correspondent was too far away to observe Bill Clinton’s reaction to the can’t-refuse offer.)

Then plates with small morsels of lox were served. Then moremerchandise was auctioned off. Then this correspondent took a shuttlebus back to Cannes, the better to ponder the contents of the officialCinema Against AIDS 2009 giveaway totebag. Among the mementos are asmall cellophane packet containing a sample of lube and a condom, andliterature from the Uzbekistan Cultural Center. Value: Priceless.

More from the Cannes Film Festival:

Lisa Schwarzbaum on Heath Ledger’s final film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
More on Sharon’s Stone’s tribute to Natasha Richardson
Penelope Cruz in Almodovar’s Broken Embraces
Lars von Trier’s Antichrist: "The closest film to a scream"
Roger Ebert, A Prophet, and a trend that ought to end
Taking Woodstock = Peace and Love and Demitri Martin
Bright Star and the Scottish charms of Paul Schneider
At Cannes: Up, Tetro, and lots of balloons