Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity, watch your Beck! Glenn Beck’s self-titled Fox News program (weekdays at 5 p.m. ET) debuted in January, and it’s already the third-most-watched cable news program. Whether a guest is fainting or Beck is weeping, the polarizing host always makes headlines. (And jokes: The TV and talk-radio star will hit the road this June for his Common Sense Comedy Tour.) Let’s see if we can make him cry with a few Stupid Questions.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Greetings. Should I call you a Republitarian or a Liberpublican?
GLENN BECK: I would just call me “King.” Or “Your Highness.” Or “Oh Grand Ruler.” Any of those fascistic kind of titles will be fine with me. I have an evil plan that will have me placed at the head of this empire that I’m building within the next three to six weeks, eight at the top.
Let’s talk about the famous April 13 fainting, when a guest passed out while shaking your hand. Were you aware that a mere touch from you could put a man right to sleep?
Usually it’s my voice, my topics, my looks, my general presence. But the handshake? No, I wasn’t. I felt like Spock. It was good.
If you had the opportunity to pass out on somebody else’s program, whose would you pick?
It would be kind of cool to pass out on Letterman, because I have a feeling I’d get halfway through the interview and he’d make me want to. I would be praying for death and just be like, “Oh, dear God, please let me pass out. It will all be over.” I have a feeling Dave doesn’t like the show.
What are you the host with the most of?
Poundage. Cellulite. Big fat cheeks. Sleepless nights. Tears. I have a deficiency of salt, though, because of all the tears that I shed.
What do I have to say to make you cry?
Try this: “This interview is going to last three more minutes.”
You’re going on the road this summer to do a comedy show. Gimme your
best riff on subprime mortgage debt. I mean, really make me wet my
pants.
Well, it’s easy to make you wet your pants talking about subprime
mortgages. I just don’t think it’s the way you’re looking for.
Glenn Beck trails only The O’Reilly Factor and Hannity in the cable news ratings. What should you do right now to take both of them down and rocket yourself to No. 1?
I do have a call in to Dick Cheney to take them hunting.
Here’s what Jon Stewart said about you: “Finally, a guy who says
what people who aren’t thinking are thinking.” What do you think he
meant by that?
Isn’t it time that those people have a voice? I am their king…
Wait — are you crying now?
I’m getting a little misty from the idea of people who aren’t thinking
bowing in front of me. I’ll have to spend a few minutes explaining to
them how to bow, but once they catch on, it’s going to be sweet.
What do I have to say to make you cry?
Try this: "This interview is going to last three more minutes."
You’re going on the road this summer to do a comedy show. Gimme yourbest riff on subprime mortgage debt. I mean, really make me wet mypants.
Well, it’s easy to make you wet your pants talking about subprimemortgages. I just don’t think it’s the way you’re looking for.
Glenn Beck trails only The O’Reilly Factor and Hannity in the cable news ratings. What should you do right now to take both of them down and rocket yourself to No. 1?
I do have a call in to Dick Cheney to take them hunting.
Here’s what Jon Stewart said about you: "Finally, a guy who sayswhat people who aren’t thinking are thinking." What do you think hemeant by that?
Isn’t it time that those people have a voice? I am their king…
Wait — are you crying now?
I’m getting a little misty from the idea of people who aren’t thinkingbowing in front of me. I’ll have to spend a few minutes explaining tothem how to bow, but once they catch on, it’s going to be sweet.
Comments (1-30) of 88 Add your comment
Great answers! That was funny! I love a guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously.
he’s an idiot.
Love or hate his politics, that was funny.
Beck: Ex-gay and alcoholic, full-time right winger dirtbag.
He reminds me of Joss Whedon (if Joss weren’t a liberal) with his snark and self-deprecation. Either way, they both make me laugh.
I hate the guy, but that indeed was funny. “I felt like Spock” lol A fan of Big Bang Theory (IRONY) no doubt!
http://tvdonewright.com/2009/04/30/upfront-preview-how-leno-will-hurt-nbc/
Glenn Beck is the best.Finally a down to earth guy that is sincere and funny. Im practicing my bow as we speak!!
to bad all of the left wingers and liberals cant seem to debate. all you do is hate hate hate, what wrong with asking hard questions? Oh yeah all of you care more about how everyone feels over the law or whats right. Like none of you liberals want to feel the pain of these big greedy corporations go into the toilet. Well if they ran a crappy immoral buisiness then they need to fail, but no we are gonna prop them up on gov’t heroin and then put alllll the debt on the children and grandchildren.my children now owe 114,569 each just from the first 100 days of this mob style take over of our country.
Glenn Beck Rocks!!!
I never thought to compare Glenn to Joss, ann. Interesting comparison. LOL
I like Glenn. He can get a little carried away, but at least he’s passionate about something.
Beck has been ahead of the curve most of the time. He delivers with humor and self deprecation. Liberals hate him because they are just plain ignorant of real life and parrot the bashing they hear by Stewart and the likes.
Sick freaks rule! Evil Conservatives unite! Rush for president and Glenn for Secretary of State!
BECK IS BRILLIANT!!! Do you “think” Jon Stewart might be a little jealous of Glenn?
Ditto on what Chris said above. Beck is not a textbook Libertarian, but he is the revolutionary we need.
Tired of these whiz-kids you people write about–they’re ALL bums!
Show me one who has the guts to take on THE ONE ISSUE!
Eligibility–native-born American.
Show me One!
Who is it?
There are none!
No matter how you look at him, he is right! Look at what he said three years ago and what is happening now… it is spooky.
I can never get enough of Glenn Beck. Be it via his hilarious yet serious radio show or now within a Prime Time environment. Also, having a few pints “Becks” beer help the process while either listening or watching his diabtribes against the lefties!
Somebody that can relay the truth in a funny and hosest manner…..right on…still have a ways to take over Bill and Hannity, you hard ass right guy…I love the comments from people who don’t even now you, yeah the ones you wouldn’t have to teach tgo bow.
Glen Beck is GREAT! Ya gotta love a guy who’s not ashamed of who or what he is and can ‘follow a program’ (without a teleprompter) and ‘not take himself to damn seriously!’ I think he’s a great canidate for the Republican, no; Democrat, no no no; Libertarian, no; oh yes, the Tea Party! It has the values and morals of the others, just not the dis-ease!
I find myself leaving work early every week day so I can watch his program.He talks the talk and walks the walk.
Dan Snierson great interview! Glenn Beck is awesome! He cares and helps us pay attention by using humor. Wish we had more Radio/TV personalities just like him. Down with the main-strem media Obama-lovin “journalists”.
I love me some Glenn Beck! He helps me understand the world and the craziness going on around me in an entertaining and insightful fashion.
I find it interesting that the few people who “hate” Beck choose to simply call him names instead of presenting a real argument. Typical.
People who hate Glenn Beck have either never watched him and buy into the popular, hateful view of all conservatives, or they’re just so smug in their leftist beliefs that they’re afraid to entertain opposing viewpoints. Either way, the guy is real. He tells it like it is. You can’t actually listen to him and poo-poo everything he says. So much of what he says is simply common sense. Are you going to disagree with common sense? Wait! What am I saying???
Ditto to all of the positive statements already posted! I just love the fact that he has woke up all of us silly apathetic pacifists. I, too, am practicing to bow. I would chose him over Rush for president though, but, alas I don’t think that is Glenn’s purpose here on earth. I think he is a messenger, the one to get us right thinking people thinking again. I think his role is going to end up being even more difficult than a presidents – we need him to keep us going, and we will need him for a long time. Just don’t burn out on us Glenn! You’re keeping the hope alive.
Am watching his show on Fox right now! Also DVR the show so I won’t miss anything. Love it when he does his take on Barney Frank – makes me ROFLMAOOO! We need more like him. Glen makes no qualms about his past. He’s not worried about being “Politically Correct” – that’s why he has so many fans.
If anyone has really listened to Glenn Beck they’ll know that even if they don’t agree with his politics he speaks the truth. Anyone from the early comments who insists on bashing Glenn probably hasn’t seen any of his shows or listened to his radio program. Seriously, before you bash the living daylights out of someone actually know who you are bashing, don’t repeat what the mainstream media says. Anyways, I watch Glenn everyday after school and can’t get enough, maybe its the way that he puts thing so a 14 year old can understand, or maybe because he’s so funny, but somehow Glenn makes his show so enjoyable that I can’t get enough.
GLEN speaks for me. O.nly B.ums A.nd M.alcontents A.ccepted speaks for the Lazy, Selfish, Misdirected, IDIOTS of a FAILING Nation. If U believe in the Constatution, Honesty, Truth, and Accountability u’r a RACIST. BUT if U accept Washingtons BRIBES u’r a GOOD American. GOD BLESS U GLEN. I’m GLAD I’m childless, and soon to DIE. Hopfully SOON while It can still be said “He fought for OUR Freedoms, and OUR safty, and Died a FREE MAN”. Laughter is Good for the SOUL, TRUTH is Good for a SOCIETY, and Glen gives us BOTH. Who needs Bombs to distroy America? We have O BOMB A, and Washinton to do it. People SLAM those who belive in GOD who only asks for 10% of our earnings! Washington wants 40% from those who EARN it, But NOT themselfs. REST IN PEACE
i luv glenn. read what he read about rush for time magazine:
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0%2C28804%2C1894410_1893836_1894425%2C00.html
Leon:
Why are you so rude? Are you ready to cast the first stone?